Wearing long sleeves to work and school so that no one worries about me. I’m not fine and I’m a tortured soul. I’ve been self harming since mid middle school and now it seems like its become an addiction. Something I turn to every time my anxiety hits or I’m stressed out or depressed. It has always some how calmed me down. And it keeps getting worse. Last night I was on the brink of committing suicide. I had a bunch of sleeping pills in my hand and a cup of water and then I heard a meow coming from outside. My cat had been missing for a couple days and I was starting to think he would never come home and I opened the door and there he was(this was at 2 am). I was so happy that he’d come home that I completely forgot about the whole ending my life. Somehow even though it was chance … I feel as it was a sign to not end my life. I really need help. Bad. Next time I wont be so lucky… Sad thing is I broke my promise with my mother … I told her I wouldn’t self harm anymore… .__. All im good at is breaking promises and relapsing.

in a couple weeks. The stray fold in Thomas’ neighbor hood just had babies.. unsure where.. but we have to wait like a  couple weeks anyways until they can be weened off mommy cat. I’m excited to get one. <3 <3